Shimura Sandwich
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: Kyuubei finds a novel solution to certain romantic dilemmas, and personally forges her own happy ending. [a one shot practically almost a year in the making]


**Shimura Sandwich  
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A _Gintama _thing

By

EvilFuzzy9

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><p>Rating: T<p>

Genre: Romance..._ish_/Family... _kinda_

Characters/Pairings: Otae, Kyuubei, Shinpachi; [ShinKyuuTae OT3 XP]

Summary: Kyuubei finds a novel solution to certain romantic dilemmas, and personally forges her own happy ending. [a disappointing one shot practically almost a year in the making]

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><p>Kyuubei had to admit. Despite her initial misgivings, doing it like this actually had its own unique benefits. Although her true love would always be Otae, she could at least also find room in her heart for that angelic woman's imperfect brother.<p>

Really, it just amazed Kyuubei that she hadn't thought of such a solution earlier. Regardless of whether she had been born a man or a woman, it still would have been her responsibility as firstborn to sire the next generation, sooner or later. The Yagyu line could not end with her!

So, as much as Kyuubei may have been loth to admit it, she _needed_ a man, if only as far as a way to cement her position as the next leader of the Yagyu. As much as she loved Otae, and would have been willing to adopt Kyuubei knew that those with the power to decide would want a _blood_ heir. And two women by themselves could not conceive.

To secure her position, Kyuubei needed a man to wed, so that she could say_ there will be an heir, eventually_.

And yet, there was still the matter of her love for Tae, which the stubborn sword mistress would not have denied. Her devotion to the other woman would not yield at anyone's request, and if she were to take such a husband as was too proud to allow his wife that one indulgence, then she would probably kill him with her own two hands. And furthermore, if Kyuubei married into a family of equal status to her own (or _greater_), she would be all but obligated to take on the name of her husband, and the Yagyu line would end – at least in name.

So it was that Kyuubei Yagyu had been caught at an impasse. For the sake of politics, and the security of her own position, she would need to take a husband who could eventually sire the next generation of her clan. For the sake of her pride and the Yagyu's, that man would need to be from a family of lesser status. For the sake of her love, it would need to be a man who could understand her love for Otae, and know when keep out of that matter.

And for the sake of her art and the legacy of her sword style, it would also be preferable if that man had some manner of familiarity with swordsmanship.

It had taken an embarrassingly long time for Kyuubei to reach the answer. And it wasn't even her own idea, in the end.

"Why not Shin-chan?" Otae had pondered aloud, when told of her friend's dilemma. "If you're really that set on being in a relationship with me, then he would probably be the best choice. Wouldn't he~?"

Tae had been right.

Shinpachi was Otae's brother, and by all accounts an accomplished swordsman in his own right (if perhaps still of less ability than Kyuubei herself). As the son of a samurai, and indeed an heir to the Kodokan dojo, he was one of the only young men left in Edo who could both understand the importance of passing down the teachings of the sword and also have the skill in arms to potentially master the Yagyu style. Not only that, but since Tae was his sister, nobody would see anything odd about it if she moved onto the Yagyu estate.

Shinpachi was a male who could sire the next generation of Yagyu, and also a man from a family of lesser standing than the Yagyu. In another period it might have been considered inappropriate for Kyuubei to wed a man beneath her station, but in the hard times of the Sword Ban there were few young men left who still clung to the beliefs of the samurai. _"It is an unfortunate necessity,"_ they would say, and look no further into it.

Shinpachi knew full well of Kyuubei's love for Otae, and her devotion to the woman. He was compliant and malleable enough to bow to his wife's wishes, while still also having a reliable iron will that would not bend to adversity, with a strong enough sense of honor to keep him from falling into corruption and indulgence. He would be loyal and supportive, but not a spineless yes man. His sharp tongue and quick wit, with training and refinement, could become a weapon more formidable in the arena of politics than any sword or dart.

Shinpachi was, by all accounts, a diamond in the rough. He was young and unremarkable, now, but beneath his plain surface there lay a great deal of raw potential. With proper guidance and instruction, he could be cut and hewn into a truly stunning gem, a peerless gleaming adamant to crown the next head of the Yagyuu clan. Like unformed clay, the boy was not much to look at now, but he could be made into just about anything Kyuubei may need or desire from a husband.

And most importantly of all, the teen was dateless and unpopular. For all his positive qualities, Shinpachi just did not stand out when placed next to people like his friends or his family. His relentless tsukkomi belied the teen's deeply-seated insecurities, a dearth of self confidence which would make him extremely eager to please.

Perhaps it was not the most noble thing in the world, but Kyuubei had not hesitated to take advantage of the boy's need for love and approval.

...Not to say that Shinpachi was unloved or mistreated, but "in the shadow of oaks, a sapling will wither". For someone who was frequently teased about his only outstanding feature being the glasses on his face, even if it was all said in good humor, having almost no way to stand out or distinguish himself in any admirable way from his friends must have been devastating to his sense of self worth.

Even the wildest of jests have some basis in truth, and the words of those closest to you can cut more deeply than any sword. A teenager's self image could be very fragile, and Shinpachi's friends and family were pretty much everything BUT delicate, or tactful, or supportive.

It was a little sad, honestly, just how easy it had been for Kyuubei to win his heart.

_"Those glasses look surprisingly good on you,"_ said here with a soft blush on her cheeks (one which was not entirely faked). _"Have you gotten taller?"_ said there with a pleasant smile (again, not disingenuine). And, of course, _"I think you're getting stronger,__"_ said in the middle of a friendly spar.

It made her feel the tiniest bit like a heel, to see how swiftly Shinpachi had fallen for her. But he had been understanding of her situation, almost painfully so, once she'd laid things out plain and simple.

"You really do love Ane-ue, don't you?" was all he said, when Kyuubei had finally explained her plan to him. "I understand. You're just doing this... to get closer to her, right? Well, I suppose I can't blame you... And, also... it's not like I would be losing out on much, by going through with this..."_  
><em>

Kyuubei's heart still panged a little at the memory. That was probably the first time she had really felt something for Shinpachi, watching as the young man consigned himself to what would, for all he knew, be a loveless sham of a marriage, all for the sake of his sister's friend's happiness.

It had twisted her gut in the most painful of ways, to see Shinpachi's eyes dim and cast themselves downward to the floor as he continued to speak:

"Being realistic... this is probably the closest that someone like me will ever get to real love. Girls don't like me. I'm not good-looking or interesting, or cool or funny. I'm just an annoying, idol otaku four-eyes working a dead end, sub-minimum wage job. I have no future."

In that moment, the heart of Kyuubei Yagyu had been all but torn in two.

Maybe it was weak and ignoble of the teen, to speak of such things, and to let himself fall so selfishly into such a dismal melancholia when there were people who loved him and wanted to see him happy. Perhaps this was but another symptom of the weakness which she had diagnosed in him so long ago, the timidity and helplessness of a wretch not fit to even wash a true samurai's feet.

But still, she could not help but to feel a little sorry for the boy.

So she had slapped him, causing his glasses to fly from his face and clatter noisily to the floor.

"I don't _ever_ want to hear you talk like that again," she said, looking him now dead in the eyes. "I may not be doing this out of any particular love for you... but your sister would be saddened, if she ever heard such things coming from her beloved brother's mouth."

She had paused then, feeling her cheeks get faintly warm.

She averted her gaze.

"...and so would I," she had added softly, then, causing Shinpachi's eyes to widen.

The rest, as they say, was history.

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><p>"<em>Men!<em>" a voice shouted, ringing throughout the dojo. The defending champion brought their training sword down.

CRACK

The challenger's wooden blade was split down the middle. Their eyes widened with shock, face going pale. Hands went slack, dropping a now-useless bokken to the floor.

"_Ippon_, Kyuubei Yagyu," called Tae Shimura demurely, cheerfully announcing the results of this latest match.

The one-eyed samurai curled the corner of her lips up by only the tiniest bit.

"You still have much to learn, Takemitsu," she said firmly, but not harshly. Her eye glinted, and her expression hardened. "Don't come before me until you've learned some control, you fool."

The challenger's face fell, abashed. Properly chastised by the master's words, the man turned and walked away. His head was bowed low, showing the appropriate level of humility after being put back in his place by the champion and heir to the Yagyu dojo.

This was a daily occurrence in the gym. Kyuubei Yagyu was well known as a skilled and masterful swordsman, and the woman's reputation far preceded her. But still, even though she had been the dojo's undisputed master for several years, there was no shortage of stubborn male chauvinists or plain arrogant fools with the gall and lack of sense to challenge the twenty-four year old woman for control of her family's dojo.

Although the abdication of Lord Shigeshige, and subsequent end of the Tokugawa shogunate and Edo Period, had brought many changes to Japan, still the Yagyu maintained a high status as sword masters and samurai. Although the reign of Lord Nobunobu had been tumultuous and fraught with social upheaval, Kyuubei and her husband's family and friends had been there to guide the Yagyu clan through the difficult times and let them come out on the other side of "the end" with most of their power and prestige, and most importantly _honor_, still intact.

For this, Kyuubei was considered one of the most successful and revered heads of the Yagyu since her grandfather, the late, honored Binbokusai. But still she had her doubters, and still there were many who believed her strength to be all hype and no substance. So the beautiful madame of the Yagyu could oft be found beating respect into the heads of the arrogant fools who dared to question her ability.

Beauty did not preclude strength, and femininity was in no way antithetical to martial ability. If Kyuubei had grown into a master swordsman, then she had grown even more into a beautiful woman. With long raven locks and fair, alabaster skin, she was indeed striking to behold, a vision of loveliness in all respects. Her body, in womanhood, had grown to the extent where no amount of gender-ambiguous clothing or constrict sarashi wraps could hide her true sex, and while to describe her as such aloud would surely earn one a beating, there was no doubt that the warrior maiden of the Yagyu was a "total babe".

Despite a tomboyish nature and masculine upbringing, Kyuubei's body had filled out to truly voluptuous proportions as she matured into an adult woman. More crass types might have looked at the woman's physique and muttered_ "boobs of steel"_. And although her bust could admittedly somewhat impede two-handed swings along lateral axises, for all intents and purposes Kyuubei's combat strength was still easily a level and then some above the vast majority of men. She did not let her figure handicap her any more than her missing eye did.

Still, though, there was no shortage of dull-witted neanderthals who thought that since she was a beautiful woman, Kyuubei must actually be pretty weak, no matter how much evidence there was to the contrary.

Otae Shimura, not only unwed but seemingly unwilling to ever be, smiled at her longtime friend and lover, admiring the woman's beauty in victory. In comparison to her friend, the Shimura daughter had changed relatively little, perhaps maturing a bit here and there, physically and emotionally, but otherwise still very much like she had always been.

"Is that all of them, Kyuu-chan?" she inquired cheerily, smiling at the Yagyu head.

The woman in question was silent for a moment, as though lost in thought, before she nodded.

"Yes, I think so."

Otae let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good," she said. "I think my throat was starting to get hoarse..." She raised a hand to neck, as if to alleviate the alleged discomfort.

"No concern for me, I see!" said Kyuubei, laughing merrily as she strolled over to her friend, waster propped lackadaisically over her shoulder like a hobo's bindle. Her one eye twinkled with mirth, and her lips were curled upward into a bright grin.

"No need," said Otae wryly, winking.

She gave her friend a hug, discreetly slipping her a kiss on the cheek. It was no secret among the inner circle of their friends and family what the true relationship between Tae and Kyuubei was, and even many outside their close acquaintances had a pretty good idea. But still they generally kept matters on the down low, at least partly for the sake of Tae's brother.

Yoshie Yagyu, formerly Shinpachi Shimura, was a man that many respected, a one-time captain of the now-defunct Shinsengumi's second division, and the founding member of the Seiheitai (formerly known as the _Tsu Terakado First Imperial Guard_). Despite his poor eyesight, he was a swordsman of no inconsiderable skill, and a fairly capable leader as well. And though his skill with the sword may have been less than his wife's, in pure strength of arms there were only a handful of people on earth who could readily surpass him.

He was charismatic as well, and not only from force of personality. While in his youth the man had been called plain and unattractive, adulthood had been exceedingly kind to him. He had grown up into a most handsome individual, and some of the bolder women in the Yagyu's circle of friends were not afraid to assert their envy of Kyuubei for having landed such a catch when he was still young and trainable.

And while Kyuubei did not personally approve of such talk, she could understand why they would say such things. While she may have only married him to get closer to her lover, that was not to say that the woman had no love for her husband. Quite the opposite, actually – over time she had come to adore and dote upon him as much as she did for Otae. And Otae, for her part, deeply loved her brother.

So the two women usually refrained from overt public displays of intimacy or affection_._ Even just as much as a chaste kiss here or there was probably pushing it, at least as far as not emasculating Yoshie with lurid rumors of an affair between his sister and his wife went.

Not that he was unaware, of course. No, if anything the two women got the coziest with one another when they were alone with Kyuubei's husband and Tae's brother.

...but that was a private matter. If Otae indulged her brother's sister complex now and then, or Yoshie indulged his sister's brother complex, then that was between them and Kyuu-chan. And, yes, the intended meaning is probably around just as dirty as what you are thinking of right now after reading that previous sentence.

But as it were, Kyuubei and Tae cheerfully made their way from the dojo. They walked through the zen garden outside the gym, passing carefully arranged stones and well-tended bonsai. Water burbled in a small creek not far from the cobblestone walkway, clear mountain-spring water running in a meandering course across the grounds of the Yagyu estate.

A couple of ducks swam peacefully in a pond nearby, occasionally ducking their heads below the surface of the water as they fed and drank. The striking plumage of the drakes contrasted starkly with the duller coloration of their female counterparts, a display of their virility and availability to any who were interested.

Dragonflies zipped through the air over the water, noisily buzzing as they courted and mated. Tae smiled, smelling the fresh spring air, and holding her lover's hand as they made their way up to the dwelling of the clan head and her closest family.

"What a beautiful time of year," mused Tae Shimura wistfully. She squeezed Kyuubei's hand in hers, eyes softly shining.

Kyuubei blushed, smiling kindly at Otae.

"Spring is the season of love," she mused. "Or so they say in the West." Her cheeks pinkened a little, becoming like in hue to the blossoms of the sakura grove at the edge of the manor.

Tae giggled.

"Ah, I can believe it..." she purred warmly. "You look even prettier than usual in this light, Kyuu-chan."

"As do you, Otae-chan," replied Kyuubei, her one eye meeting Tae's glimmering pools.

Tae blushed, waving a hand bashfully at her friend and lover's flattery.

"Oh, you~" she tittered. "So incorrigible, Kyuu-chan. I daresay you don't even pay your _husband_ such generous compliments❤"

Now it was Kyuubei's turn to blush again, deeper than before, and briefly she averted her gaze from Otae's.

"Y-you know that's not true," she mumbled shyly, briefly stumbling over her words. "I just don't... I dislike saying such things in public. It's embarrassing."

Otae laughed, high and clear. Her voice tinkled musically, like silver chimes in a summer breeze.

"You are too adorable, Kyuu-chan! Do you know that?" she said, smiling brightly. "That brother of mine is always talking about you, or so it sometimes seems. He loves you very much."

Kyuubei fidgeted briefly, but she was smiling as well, though the expression was softer and more subdued than Tae's.

"I know..." she said after a moment of silence. "And you know that I feel the same for him."

Her eye sparked, conveying to Otae the added meaning of her friend's words.

_And for you._

Otae squeezed Kyuubei's hand softly in hers. She smiled, turning her gaze up to the sky.

_Same here._

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><p>Shinpachi Shimura, as he was still known to his closest and stubbornest friends, let out a soft, wistful sigh as his wife embraced him. A head rested against his chest, which was hard and muscular from years of training in swordsmanship.<p>

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her. They lay in bed, together, dressed in light summer nightclothes.

On the other side of Kyuubei lay Tae Shimura, his sister, and his wife's lover.

He knew Kyuubei had only really married him to get closer to Aneue, and to allay fears as to the eventual continuation of her family's teaching line. But he was happy nonetheless, content with whatever it was the three of them had.

They slept together, all three of them: a Shimura Sandwich with Kyuubei in the middle.

Life was pretty good.

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><p>AN: ...bloody hell, just _how long_ has this fic been sitting incomplete in my doc manager...? I know I've had to refresh it a number of times to save it from deletion... christ, I think I started this back when I was at the height of my "ALL THE FICS FOR PATSUAN" crusade thingy.

The section with Shinpachi... I had _presumably_ meant to lead into something with it, but god only knows what I was planning back then. So I guess this rushed ending will do, wynaut.

I suppose maybe some people will be able to enjoy it for what it is. _Whatever_ it is.

I do at least remember that I had originally intended this to be just a smutty ShinKyuuTae threesome, but before I knew it, it had grown into... whatever the hell you would call this.

Trufax, the historical Shinpachi Nagakura (on whom our Patsuan is very loosely based) actually _did_ change his name to Yoshie, and take on his wife's family name, according to what little I could find on Wikipedia.

But aside from that, all the rest of this is just a result of my own cracky-ish thingamadingers.

(also TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY wooo)

**Updated: **10-28-14

**TTFN and R&R!**

– — ❤


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